Please don't breastfeed me.

How else could you toss me that piano?

God yes, my penis is a fiberoptic cable.

The scoliosis on top of the tree worries me

That's the last time I get soy sauce on my IPA

You stole my heart like a Turk steals babies.

He had a four foot piece of fiberglass and I had a nightstick, which is how all the cuddling ensued.

Her hymen was an especially durable bulkhead.

Oh thou delicious pizza, thou red one. How red with tomatoes and yellow with cheese thou art.

Yeah, starship captains really need to stop ramming their giant dicks into the Greek alphabet.

If a bio major ever tells you to start injecting liquefied cereal, tell their professor so they can flunk.

They give you special breast enhancement as part of your MLA training.

Every single judge in the country should know what a rhotic duck is!

Да, я репочка

Translation: Yeah, I'm a little turnip.

Can anyone support the claim that grandma killed Kennedy?

English pronouns can kiss my dick

Alex, I don't think croissants have Œdipus complexes.

No, Jenny, I don't suppose that Persian notes will mass along the Pakistani border again.