Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Please don't breastfeed me.
How else could you toss me that piano?
God yes, my penis is a fiberoptic cable.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The scoliosis on top of the tree worries me
That's the last time I get soy sauce on my IPA

Saturday, December 5, 2009

You stole my heart like a Turk steals babies.